90% of women have strange thoughts in bed and most want to try binding SM

“Strange Notions” always makes you conjure up many unpleasant images: for example, someone wearing leather and brandishing a whip, or a woman sitting on an imperial throne and commanding everything – these are all figures from novels. In fact, we are all simple individuals who prefer the familiar. So, for the time being, we don't want to use sex toys, deliberately create an atmosphere, or take some sexual drugs. But don't you want to do something more interesting? Make your sex life more cooperative, less reluctant, more fun, and less frightening.

Well, now, in a survey of over 2,000 readers around the world, we found that women are waiting for us to teach them how to go wild: over 90% of women showed a strong desire, and 70% of them had the urge to give these strange notions a try. Another 21.5% of women got extremely excited when faced with these strange notions, saying, “If only he asked me to do this in bed!” If it really works, don't call it a “strange notion”. Consider it as a form of entertainment, and it will be easier for you to find pleasure. Cast all your doubts aside.

The Most Popular “Strange Notions” in Bed

Don't be surprised by the acronym BDSM, which stands for bondage, discipline, submission, and masochism. Now let's look at the letters B and D, which refer to bondage and discipline. These might be trendier than you think. “When she is tied up, the intense sexual desire can excite them greatly. Many women are very interested in this,” says Dr. Carol. She is a sexologist and also runs a successful sex toy store. “Their rebellious psychology will give them an impulse. When they are tied up and bound, the good show is about to begin.”

Firstly: When you are playing around, cover her head with your hand so that she can't move. If she likes it, then you should consider how to control her further. Grab a tie, her long scarf, or a pair of stockings and gently tie her up. Keep tying, don't stop, and be sure to do it slowly.

Shouting loudly can make your play more exciting. “Whether you shout with great effort depends entirely on you,” says Emma Taylor, one of the co-authors of “The Neuro Guide to Sex Life”. “Being too conservative might make you miss the opportunity. You should learn to be a bit ‘rude’.” This is your sex enhancer. If she laughs, you laugh with her. Let her keep moaning.

Afterwards: Let's listen to the advice of Alder, a sex researcher. “BDSM can be dangerous for those who have no experience in this area or are too enthusiastic about it. Be sure to learn about it beforehand to avoid hurting each other.” Before you start, you should implant the word “safety” in your mind so that you can control the time and measure when you play.

Incorporate Safety into the Whole Process

“‘Rejection’ might be an important part of sexual fantasies and can arouse unimaginable passion. So you should incorporate the word ‘safety’ into the whole process,” says Waxman, a sex educator. If you haven't tried all these dangerous games, you should be cautious.

Her Story: “For us, everything was very natural. My husband and I didn't go out and buy a pair of handcuffs. But during one lovemaking session, he said to me, ‘Come on, baby, don't use your hands.’ Really, I found that we both performed beyond our usual level. Then, we would take turns: he would hold onto the headboard, and I would do what I was supposed to do, and then we would switch. I could feel that he was completely immersed in it, and I couldn't stop him. This is what we had always wanted, a truly fascinating sex life.” – Carrie, 26, social worker.

Sex Videos

Don't expect too much at first. In our survey, only 15% of women would record their activities in the bedroom, probably because they were afraid that others might see it. “They are curious about what they look like when they are passionate. That's the truest version of themselves in life,” says Candida, the author of “How to Tell Naked Him What to Do”. You can try to see if she can accept the idea of sex videos, but there's no guarantee of success. If she is nervous but cooperative, you should give her the tape as soon as you finish, or destroy it once the excitement between you subsides. If you really want to keep it, lock it up and make sure it can't be replicated.

Firstly: “Try to forget about the tape,” says Candida. “We can connect the video recorder to the TV,” she says. “It's best to place the screen at an appropriate angle so that we can see ourselves even when we are most passionate. At the start, you can consider using those relatively safe still cameras, digital ones or polaroid-like ones, so that beginners can be less frightened.”

Afterwards: Sex is a wonderful experience, but when we look at it directly, we might not be used to it. “Don't hang the photographic light on the ceiling,” says Candida. “It will create shadows, and when the light is above your head, it might make you look ugly,” says Dr. Robert. This clinical sexologist also reminds us that while men are indulging in the visual impact, “women rely more on hearing. The louder the moans and shouts, the more women can enjoy it.”

The Sexy Experience of Self-made DV

Her Story: “My husband and I bought a digital camera for our trip to South America. He spent an evening fiddling with it in the hotel, and when I came out of the shower, I was twisting the towel and making all kinds of silly but sexy moves. Later, when we watched the clip, I was pleasantly surprised: it was so beautiful, and honestly, I felt hot all over. So, we got the idea and spent the whole night using it to film us making love. The camera looked great because it was a long-distance shot, which avoided making the footage too pornographic and showed us how beautiful sex could be. When we had to delete all the clips to make room for filming Inca temples in the following days, I was heartbroken.” – Susan, 27, engineer.

Role-playing

Two people can play a variety of role relationships, such as boss and secretary, teacher and student, cleaner and tenant. But there must be a theme, for example, one person is the weak one, and the other has to show infinite tolerance and pity. This is a powerful driving force and can even improve your health and the interesting sexual relationship between you.

Firstly: In the bedroom, we can have this sense of change. “Wearing different lingerie, you seem like a different person in bed, becoming lustful, crazy, and powerful,” says Kun. Go to a bar that neither of you is familiar with. In a public place, you can also give yourselves different feelings. Arrive 20 minutes earlier than her and act as if you don't know each other. If you can design a story for your “first meeting”, then go ahead and do it. Also, design a name, occupation, and an ambiguous meeting scene for each other. It will be more fun. Then, you discover each other and hug passionately.

Afterwards: Play a small prank of “making her forget”. Wear a piece of clothing she has never seen before and spray on a different cologne because the sense of smell is always closely tied to memory. What you need to do is make her forget who you are. Try to make yourself happy, but not hysterically crazy. For example, if you work in sales, play a traveling salesman and leave her at home as a lonely wife waiting. A fierce sexual storm will make you both unable to extricate yourselves.

We Treated Each Other as Fools

Her Story: “When we first met at the bar, we treated each other as fools and laughed. But when we suddenly realized that this carefully designed game plot could be a huge driving force for our sexual relationship, we immediately prepared for the most unforgettable sexual scene of our lives. Long ago, I liked to imagine myself as a flirtatious woman standing by the roadside waving to guests. Unfortunately, I met my husband when I was very young. This role-playing has shown me another side of myself. Now, we play like this once a month.” – Juliet, 24, graduate student.

Sex Toys

Sex toys, note that when you're not with her, she might already be using something like a vibrator. That's what sex toys are. “Men might be most worried that they will be replaced from then on, or that women will become addicted to them and later, even if they want to make women reach orgasm, they won't be able to,” says Johnson, an experienced sex therapist.

Firstly: Start with a bath and prepare a bottle of massage oil. The way to make a woman feel intense physical stimulation is usually associated with non-traditional sexual activities. The best time to use sex toys should be on Friday night. The full set of tools includes a bath sponge, orange mango body oil, massage lotion, and a magical mini-vibrator. Tell her that as long as she's ready, you'll give her a new toy at any time.

Afterwards: Her orgasm might come at any time. “If the woman uses a vibrator, when you enter her body, she can reach orgasm quickly,” says Luoyali. She recommends the kind of vibrator with a simple outline. Although its design is very sexy, it looks very warm. When we brought a group of usually well-behaved girls to the vibrator, they all found it interesting. “They don't scare me like those ‘Y’-shaped sex toys,” says Carrie. So what about men? They can still function inside the woman's body. “Once they get used to the idea, these guys will like the vibrator very much,” says Johnson. “When she wears the vibrator and gently wraps his penis with her body, the feeling is very exciting.” Lubricating oil also plays a role.

I Think It's My Everything

Her Story: “My boyfriend is really great in bed, but what worried me the most was that we couldn't reach orgasm at the same time. I really hoped that we could feel the excitement of orgasm together. When my boyfriend brought that lipstick-like vibrator to me, I was really surprised. But finally, through it, we found the feeling we wanted. I think it's my everything.” – Melissa, 32, accountant.

The “Exhibitionism” with the Right Degree

“The thrill after being noticed by passers-by definitely has something to do with so many eyes focusing on you,” says Kun. “For women, it's a feeling of being in the center, feeling infinitely charming and sexy, even though they look different from ordinary people.”

Firstly: When you rush out of the room in a skirt, make a decision immediately to take any opportunity and fulfill your desire to show off. “After a quick meal, I was going to have a drink with a friend. When I rushed to change clothes, I suddenly decided not to wear underwear,” says Karen, a 25-year-old female writer. “I thought that if the bar lights weren't so dim and we hadn't drunk so much, maybe nothing would have happened. But I'm still glad I did it.”

Afterwards: Outdoor sex. “You must make sure you are fully awake and think about how much sexual experience you have,” says Kun. “When you are almost completely exposed without privacy, those pitifully few sexual experiences like a teenager make people worry.”

I Almost Gave Up Struggling

Her Story: “This is the hottest thing I can remember. That guy asked me to have a drink with him on the roof of his apartment. Then it happened. After a while, my legs were tightly wrapped around his body. I'm a very shy person, but my exposed body made me almost give up struggling. In the end, I'm still a law-abiding citizen. And his vague and coercive tone at that time was really exciting.” – Rachel, 29, pathologist.